Excitement and the ageing process...
via i.imgur.com
From: David ThorneRead the rest of this saga at www.27bslash6.com
Date: Sunday 8 November 2009 2.16pm
To: Megan Roberts
Subject: DVDs Dear Megan, Thank you for your letter regarding overdue fees. As all four movies were outstanding examples of modern cinematic masterpieces, your assumption that I would wish to retain them in my possession is understandable, but incorrect. Please check your records as these movies were returned, on time, over three weeks ago. I remember specifically driving there and having my son run them in due to the fact that I was wearing shorts and did not want the girl behind the counter to see my white hairy legs. Regards, David.
(David Thorne is an Australian humorist, satirist, internet personality and author.)
Northcote
Northcote does not make sense. Positioned in the heartland of suburbia, a whopping nine stops away from the city (comparable to North Brighton, Ormond and Murrumbeena) it has somehow managed to defy geography and pass itself off as a gritty inner city urban wonderland. The brilliance of this suburb is only magnified when you go there and discover it’s mostly just a few kebab joints and a massive indoor shopping centre with Kmart, two Coles, Donut King and a fucking Bakers Delight. This is stuff the wrong white Melbournians like! I don’t know how, but Northcote has brainwashed Melbourne white people. Go there to experience genius.
Other things that white Melbournians like include: Not Liking Football, Fingerless Gloves, Confest, Dirty 3 gig at Meredith Music Festival in 2004, Lentil As Anything, Bonsoy, Mulled Wine, Moroccan Soup Bar, Dropping the ‘North’ from your suburb, Ceres, Fire-twirling, Tibetan Prayer Flags, ACCA (Australian Centre of Contemporary Art), Shanghai Dumpling House, Hating on Sydney, Earthchoice Dishwash Liquid, Cambodia, Laos and Vietnam, Pronouncing Chile as 'Chil-AY', Pretending to Hate Cars, Movies That Make You Think, Trackies, Pretending To Be A Nerd, The Monthly, Acknowledging the Wurundjeri, Churros, The World Section of The Age, The Windsor End of Chapel Street, Southside versus Northside.
Check it out at stuffwhitepeoplelikeinmelbourne.blogspot.com - it's a good read!
